Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
