I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
