Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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