plz talk dirty to me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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