you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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