you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Shame is for Republicans.
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