I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
