I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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