I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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