There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
