Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
