His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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