what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
