He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
