That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
