oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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