He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
