Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
