belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I AM VODKA MAN
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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