So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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