Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
