My friends, they love my intelligence
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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