I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
