so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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