Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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