is your mom at the bar?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
