why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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