Dual....:-)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
