So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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