but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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