I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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