I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
