Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize