It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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