Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
