I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
