and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
