and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Enjoy the penises
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
