So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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