Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
