How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
whose ass print is on the piano?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
