Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
