you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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