So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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