Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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