OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my sisters under your porch take her home
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
