My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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