Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
