Im at strip club and am horny
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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