Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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