They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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