508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize