we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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