Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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