Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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