It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
