yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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