do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
